Wow, the economy really sucks

It seems every day a new government report comes out reminding us how fucked up the economy is. Today's GDP report, however, took that concept one step further: it tells us that the economy is actually even more fucked up than we thought! Yesssss.

Output fell 6.2 percent at an annualized rate in the fourth quarter of 2008, revised downward from a previous estimate of a 3.8 percent decline. The drop was even steeper than many economists had feared — the consensus estimate had been a 5.4 percent decline — and was much lower than the 0.5 percent contraction from the previous quarter.

John Ryding, chief economist at RDQ Economics, described the report as "ghastly". Ouch. Well, at least it can't get much worse, right? WRONG, says John Barbera, chief economist at ITG. His prediction: "this quarter will be at least as bad as the last one."

Can you pinpoint the exact moment when Jindal's political career implodes? Try! It's fun!

Granted I should have posted this a long time ago, but better late than never (I do have a real job, you know). This video response by Bobby Jindal to President Obama's quasi-State of the Union address on Tuesday night is just indescribable. Words fail me.



I mean... wow. You can say a lot of insulting things about this speech: simplistic, poorly-delivered, child-like... but you've got to give it some credit; it does have a good rhythm. Somebody is going to mix this into a sweet dance beat. "College and reitement savings dwindle, windle, indleindleindle".

NY <3 Unemployed Bankers

Now that's a slogan you can put on a t-shirt! Today Mayor Michael Bloomberg unveiled a plan to retrain Wall Street's newly laid off investment bankers, traders, and other assorted sell-side losers:

Under a program Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg unveiled on Wednesday, the city wants to invest $45 million in government money to retrain investment bankers, traders and others who have lost jobs on Wall Street, as well as provide seed capital and office space for new businesses those laid-off bankers might create.

The plan is intended to stem the exodus of talent from the rapidly collapsing financial services industry, which has been the city’s economic engine for decades, and speed the industry’s recovery, which may take years, officials said.

You may have noticed the little "m" before the "illion" in "$45 million"... no, that isn't a typo; Mayor Bloomberg is funding this program with roughly the same budget as that of John Thain's office renovation. (Zing!) So New York loves you, unemployed bankers... just not that much.

Joaquin Phoenix has very uncomfortable interview with Letterman

This video clip has gone viral, man, and I highly recommend you catch the FEVAA.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/11/joaquin-phoenixs-bizarre_n_166229.html

My first reaction, along with everyone else's and probably yours, was: "umm.. he's kidding, right?" Also acceptable: "he is hiiiiigh out of his miiiiind!" and "Letterman is the MAN"

Indulgences are back! (Thank God!)

Remember indulgences? Probably not from personal experience, but from religious history? They were the "get out of Purgatory free" passes handed out to Catholics with enough dough to afford them, back in the pre-reformation days. Well, guess what? They're baaaack!

“Confessions have been down for years and the church is very worried about it,” said the Rev. Tom Reese, a Jesuit and former editor of the Catholic magazine America. In a secularized culture of pop psychology and self-help, he said, “the church wants the idea of personal sin back in the equation. Indulgences are a way of reminding people of the importance of penance.”

“The good news is we’re not selling them anymore,” he added.

You hear that? For a limited time only (through the end of the celebration of St. Paul in June), you can now get your hands on free indulgences. People, this deal will NOT last long. Hurry in to your local church or cathedral and stock up--they're going fast!

It's Westminster Tiiiiiime!

The Westminster Dog Show kicked off today in New York's Madison Square Garden and holy moly that thing must be a shitshow (pun intended). I'm guessing it's an equally if not more insane, wacked-out crazyfest than in the movie Best In Show and it frankly is the only event at MSG that I would care to attend. Below please find a hilarious slideshow provided by the kind folks at Daily Intel.

Puppy-Pampering: the Slideshow!

Behold the poodle's fluffy feet! Marvel at the beagle's eyes filled with sorrow and wisdom! Be slightly freaked out by the prom-night fantasy sado-masochism of the chihuahua! Westminster has got it all.

Serves you right, marketing whores

Ever since reading an article in the WSJ's marketing section about Wrigley commissioning Chris Brown to write "Forever" as a promotional gimmick for Doublemint gum, I have been complaining to anyone who will listen about how annoying it is that radios and clubs have bought into the ridiculous advertising jingle disguised as a song. Today, however, I am vindicated (sort of):

The company [Wrigley] stopped short of saying it was permanently dropping Brown, but said the allegations were too serious to keep running his ad.
"We have made the decision to suspend the current advertising featuring Brown and any related marketing communications until the matter is resolved," a spokeswoman said.

So, Wrigley is ditching Brown and suspending all advertising featuring the irritating "Forever"--sounds like a win-win, right? Well, sort of. Apparently it's because Brown beat Rihanna up pretty badly, and not because his song sucks, that Wrigley is halting the marketing campaign. Wow. That's heavy stuff. But it serves you right, Wrigley! Trying to fool music fans into buying your gum... for shame. It's Fruit Stripe and Fruit Stripe only for me from now on!

I <3 NY (and the NYTimes)

The NYTimes posted a totally adorable photo series by a guy named Christoph Neimann last week and in case you missed it the link is below.

I LEGO N.Y.

Everything from the Whitney to cream cheese with scallions to a plastic bag stuck in a tree branch, in simple yet elegant Lego form. Awwww.