Umm.. Cultural Differences?

Check out this clip from the Japanese version of American Idol. I'm not sure what to say... ummm... oh, those wacky Chinamen!

Fox News, Post react predictably to swearing-in mishap

After Justice Roberts' flub during Tuesday's inaugural swearing-in ceremony, the media exploded in supposition, prognostication, and various forms of mongering. Fox News and the NY Post, as ever, lead the pack in ridiculousness:

The New York Post offered this headline: "Roberts is the Oaf of Office."

And Fox News anchor Chris Wallace said: "We're wondering here whether or not Barack Obama in fact is the president of the United States. They had a kind of garbled oath. It's just conceivable that this will end up going to the courts."

The "Oaf" of Office? Hahaha! Another quality zinger from the people who brought us "Chuck Knobloch-head". And Chris Wallace wondering whether Obama is really the president, despite that the Oath is merely ceremony and Obama officially became president at noon without it? That is soooo Fox News. Aaaahhhh, I feel safe and secure in the knowledge that some things will never change.

Breakingviews read my MIND (or my post)

Remember when I hinted that Rising Unemployment could just be this season's #1 video game hit? Well, Breakingviews must have read my post, because they took my idea and ran with it, albeit in a slightly different direction:

How fast can you lose $50bn? To lighten the winter gloom, we’ve brought you the “Bernie Madoff game”. Pretend you are running a Ponzi scheme. Decide the fictional return you want to promise investors, how much to siphon off for yourself and how long to let the scam run. Then watch the losses mount.

The game itself is a little dull, just a few numbers plugged into a spreadsheet, but its simplicity is startling. All you do is set a return level, plug in losses/disbursements, and watch the losses mount. Really, anyone can do it! Although you probably shouldn't... Thx to DealBook for the tip.

Merchandising history

Given the recent economic slowdown and all the hubbub about how decreasing consumption will lead us into a deep recession, thank goodness for the upcoming inauguration and our culture's crazy obsession with merchandising crap!! NYTimes sheds some light on a few "non-traditional" commemorative items:

Obama sex toys, which will not be described here, are available for $34.95 at one online company. At another, I ♥ Obama Classic Thong Undies are selling for $8.99.

Actually, those aren't the only Obama thongs you can buy. Here you can find a full list of graphical liberal underwear and links to their purchasing websites. In my opinion, they look a little cheap. I was more looking for a thong with the front part being a cut-out of Obama's head, and maybe the back being a full body replica of GWB... but what can you do.

And meow back to John in the newsroom

Check out this weatherguy! After enduring decades of cat-free weather reporting, he decided to end the oppression:



I like how he not only picks the cat up, but also nuzzles him quite overtly. Me-ow is right. You go, weatherguy!

Thx CuteOverload; you're the bestest. Heart!

Remember these guys?

Last night while watching a National Geographic Channel documentary on the "new" Black Panthers (in HD! yeaaaahh!), I was reminded of some other aggressively anti-white crusaders from my past. Remember "Real Jews are Black"???



They don't come to the Upper East Side anymore. I guess it's true what they say: you can never really go home again :( :( :(.

Unemployment hits 16-year high

Well, that's depressing news. But just how bad is it? The NYTimes provides a lovely slideshow on its front page to help us understand the crisis:

I gotta say... Rising Unemployment looks like a kinda cool video game. Down we go! Weeee! Which exciting boss will we encounter once we reach the employment dungeon? Recessionary Koopa? Or will it be the evil Depression von Koopa? Graphics make unemployment fun!!

Road to the Doghouse

On yesterday's Daily Show, which was technically Monday's Daily Show (I DVR it.. who stays up past 11pm?), Jon Stewart introduced a new segment entitled "Road to the Doghouse" about choosing the new first pup. CNN anchor Anderson Cooper (swoon) hosted the first Puppedential Debate:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Road to the Doghouse - Puppedential Debate

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

The Huffinton Post reports that this was an actual CNN skit, and that Stewart simply excerpted and mocked it on the show. However, a search of CNN.com turns up no results for "puppedential debate" and Stewart clearly states during that clip that "we got Anderson Cooper to do that". Check your sources next time, Huffington! Who's the #1 blogger now, bitchessss?????

Erickson to Burris: No Senate seat for you!

In Totally Obvious News, Secretary of the Senate Nancy Erickson has rejected Roland Burris' appointment to the Senate. (In case you don't already know, Burris is the guy selected by Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich to replace Obama in the Senate, and Blagojevich is being charged with trying to sell that seat to the highest bidder. Geez, am I really your only news source??) Hilariously, though, none of these developments phase Burris in the least.

What has been done here is legal. That's legal. I am the junior senator from Illinois, and I wish my colleagues and the press would recognize that," [Burris] said.

He said he plans to appear at the chamber door Tuesday, even though he expects to be denied entry.

Burris said he was surprised by all of the controversy surrounding the appointment.

Now I'm no fancy, big-city politician, but something about this story just doesn't make sense to me. How could Burris possibly be surprised by the controversy? The reason Erickson couldn't seat him is because the Illinois Secretary of State, Jesse White, refused to sign the certificate of appointment. And Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (the majority leader, for goshssakes!) called the appointment "tainted". So either Burris a. isn't up on his political news (probably a disqualification) or b. is an idiot (definitely a disqualification). So what's it gonna be, B?

Joan Rivers reflects on Madoff scandal

We've all heard about the Madoff scandal and the people whose lives it has touched/ruined, but it took yesterday's NYTimes Magazine interview with Joan Rivers to explain what it really means.

Rivers: I’m pleading with you, please say, “She lost a bundle with Bernie Madoff.”
NYT: Did you?
Rivers: No, but everybody is walking around now saying that, and that shows that you used to be very rich.

So look on the bright side, people! Losing millions of dollars in a pyramid scheme can be a good thing! At least you had millions of dollars, which is more than most of us can say, you (formerly) rich (probably) greedy bastard. Thx to Daily Intel for the tip.

I'm Baaaaaack

Hello, my little bloglings! Did you miss me while I was on vacay? I know, I know. It's tough when your favorite blogger takes some time off. Fortunately, absolutely nothing happened while I was gone, so you didn't miss anything! Phewph.

Well, I'm back now. So... news: Commence!