Hillary Duff has become interesting

Admit it: you haven't thought about Hillary Duff at all since she left Gossip Girl. Not once. Why would you? Who has she blown lately? Well, as it turns out, this guy:

Wow. How were these even captured? Some photographer just happened to be standing outside their room at the exact moment he proposed? What are the odds of that? I smell a blow job publicity stunt.

I never though I'd write a post about Heidi Montag...

..but her escapades have finally surpassed disgusting and reached grotesque proportions, and I can no longer ignore her pathetic, wimpering cries for attention. Check out these side-by-side photos from People (via The Superficial) to see what I'm getting at.


You know, I feel partly responsible for this. If I had known that she was going to find a little nickname like Chinasaurus Rex offensive, then I would have just stuck with Tits McGee and let that be that. Oh well, hindsight...

Khloe Kardashian has lost of a lot of weight

It seems that Khloe has taken stepfather Bruce's advice to "lose a little weight". Below, find a photo of her (via the Superficial) looking like she has dropped a good 10-15 lbs.


Why is this news, you ask? Um, it's not, clearly. Who said that it was? It's the Tuesday after a holiday weekend, give me a break.

The most celebrities, EVER

Holy muffins, it's the Met Gala! This annual event is the most celebrity-filled get-together in probably the entire universe and has a purpose about which I have absolutely no clue. Check out the Cut's slideshow of just a few of the famous people who attended.

Look at all of 'em! What master of the universe could have brought all of these minor and not-so-minor celebrities together under the same roof? God? Allah? Diddy? All I know is that I must attend next year; I just must. Get on it, people!

New Fave Trend: Gossipy WSJ Articles

Ever since the credit crisis began, the gossip factor of the WSJ articles chronicling it has been rising steadily. From the inner workings of Vikram Pandit's twisted mind to Timothy Geithner's private pain, the WSJ is there to dramatize every moment. Just one example of many: today's article about the automotive restructuring, Detroit's Fate Sealed in West Wing.

In this riveting piece, master storytellers Monica Landley and Neal E. Boudette take us from the hallowed halls of Washington to a dingy Northwest terminal in Detroit. Opening in a "windowless, ornate room", the tale is pure suspense from beginning to end. A selection from later in the piece:

Late in the afternoon, the two executives hurried to the airport and boarded a Northwest flight bound for Detroit. It was a far cry from the days when they flew the corporate jets GM operated out of its own small terminal at the Detroit airport.

They settled into the last row in first class, Mr. Henderson taking the window and Mr. Wagoner the aisle. As the Airbus 319 lifted off, Mr. Henderson occupied himself with the day's newspaper, Mr. Wagoner with reports. The two men said little to each other throughout the one-hour-and-36-minute flight.

Oooooh. You can really feel the tension. And the line harkening back to the days of corporate jets and private terminals? Sentimental gold. I can hardly wait for the next installment!

Bristol Palin ends sham engagement

Shocker! Bristol Palin and "fiance" Levi Johnston have ended their "real, totally not-just-for-TV" relationship for good. People has it on good authority:

The split happened "a few weeks ago," according to a source close to the couple, but it's unclear what precipitated it. "It was a mutual thing," adds the source.

Typically I would be skeptical of information coming from a "source" close to the family, but since these people are pretty trashy it doesn't really surprise me that their good friends would be willing to discuss intimate details of their life with a tabloid. Also, who didn't see this breakup coming a mile away? Come on. And further: Alaska sucks. The end.

Joaquin Phoenix has very uncomfortable interview with Letterman

This video clip has gone viral, man, and I highly recommend you catch the FEVAA.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/11/joaquin-phoenixs-bizarre_n_166229.html

My first reaction, along with everyone else's and probably yours, was: "umm.. he's kidding, right?" Also acceptable: "he is hiiiiigh out of his miiiiind!" and "Letterman is the MAN"

Serves you right, marketing whores

Ever since reading an article in the WSJ's marketing section about Wrigley commissioning Chris Brown to write "Forever" as a promotional gimmick for Doublemint gum, I have been complaining to anyone who will listen about how annoying it is that radios and clubs have bought into the ridiculous advertising jingle disguised as a song. Today, however, I am vindicated (sort of):

The company [Wrigley] stopped short of saying it was permanently dropping Brown, but said the allegations were too serious to keep running his ad.
"We have made the decision to suspend the current advertising featuring Brown and any related marketing communications until the matter is resolved," a spokeswoman said.

So, Wrigley is ditching Brown and suspending all advertising featuring the irritating "Forever"--sounds like a win-win, right? Well, sort of. Apparently it's because Brown beat Rihanna up pretty badly, and not because his song sucks, that Wrigley is halting the marketing campaign. Wow. That's heavy stuff. But it serves you right, Wrigley! Trying to fool music fans into buying your gum... for shame. It's Fruit Stripe and Fruit Stripe only for me from now on!

Joan Rivers reflects on Madoff scandal

We've all heard about the Madoff scandal and the people whose lives it has touched/ruined, but it took yesterday's NYTimes Magazine interview with Joan Rivers to explain what it really means.

Rivers: I’m pleading with you, please say, “She lost a bundle with Bernie Madoff.”
NYT: Did you?
Rivers: No, but everybody is walking around now saying that, and that shows that you used to be very rich.

So look on the bright side, people! Losing millions of dollars in a pyramid scheme can be a good thing! At least you had millions of dollars, which is more than most of us can say, you (formerly) rich (probably) greedy bastard. Thx to Daily Intel for the tip.

Hello, Tuesday afternoon

Well I haven't posted in a while (four days, that's a long time for me). Basically it's because nothing interesting is happening. Please note that the below things do not interest me:

- Riots in Greece
- Illinois governor in corruption scandal
- Auto bailout approved
- 9/11 terrorists plead guilty
- Dow up above 9k
- Julian Schnabel on 60 Minutes (okay I did watch this, but I didn't feel the need to post about it since I assumed everyone already knew)

However! Today I discovered that some real news has in fact been happening, and it's been going on right under my nose (or, rather, under some really good lighting and ampere waists)! Oprah is fat again!

In the [January issue of "O"] magazine, out Tuesday, the talk-show queen says she now weighs 200 pounds and has fallen off the wagon when it comes to healthy living.

This weight gives Oprah a BMI of 31.8, making her technically obese. That's what you get for discontinuing "O at Home"!! Karma's a bitch, baby!!

Back to the future

Flashback alert! It's 1995 again and O.J.'s back, but this time with a twist:

A Las Vegas judge sentenced fallen gridiron great O.J. Simpson to at least 15 years in prison for leading an armed confrontation last year at a Las Vegas hotel room over sports memorabilia.

Simpson could become eligible for parole in about nine years. Grimacing, Simpson was escorted from the courtroom in shackles.

Judge Jackie Glass gave Simpson a tongue-lashing before passing sentence.

"Earlier in this case, at a bail hearing, I said to Mr. Simpson I didn't know if he was arrogant, ignorant or both," Glass said. "During the trial and through this proceeding I got the answer, and it was both."

She stressed that the sentence was not "payback for anything else," apparently referring to Simpson's acquittal 13 years ago in the slayings of his former wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman.

Snap, Judge Jackie Glass. He's already been convicted and sentenced to at leaset 15 years jail, but why don't you just rub it in a little? I've always thought it was funny how judges get to just dis on the defendant like that for no reason. If I ever wanted to become a judge, that would definitely be the reason why.

Tina Fey in Vanity Fair

I don't get Vanity Fair, because I don't pay for stuff, but I do read blogs that occassionally give me snippets of its content. Tina Fey is the subject of this month's cover story, which includes an interview with her husband and an explanation of that scar on her left cheek:

[A] stranger slashed Fey's face when she was 5 years old...the incident occurred in the front yard of her house.

She said it felt like someone marking her face with a pen. That's one tough-ass five-year-old, I tell you what.

My crush on Joel McHale continues...

Clips like this are why I love Joel McHale. He knows that you don't watch TRL (it's not 1999 anymore) and so you probably missed this fan reprising his 2000 dancing debut in honor of TRL's last episode. So he brings it to you, in the form of the Clip of the Week:



Thanks, Joel! What gym does he go to????

A friendly gift? Or something more?

Tyra "kiss my fat ass" Banks has given the gift of true femininity to Isis King, whom you may remember as Top Model's very first publicity stunt--I mean, transgendered contestant. The penis-ectomy normally costs between 20 and 35K, but Tyra has arranged for it to be performed pro-bono (but I thought it was anti-bono! Hahahaha, okay I'm done).

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/11/17/2008-11-17_tyra_banks_gives_top_model_contestant_is.html

Now she can ace those pool photo shoots! Just like Tyra...