Andy Rooney Is Old (And Doesn't Get Stuff)

Sometimes I watch 60 Minutes, and I catch Andy Rooney's editorial at the end. Andy Rooney is a crotchety old man. Though I suppose he fancies himself a social satirist, I don't think he actually understands the society he comments on. And even when he does, he otherwise makes extremely boring observations.

On the other hand, I find his continued employment fascinating. Maybe one of these days he'll do a piece on his own irrelevance and incoherence.

Here's some of Andy's cutting commentary:

"Recently, Merrill Lynch agreed to sell itself to Bank of America for $50 billion. What's that all about? Sell itself? Who gets the $50 billion?"

"In the past few years, I've bought three can openers and none of them work. Look at this. I always end up going back to the old manual opener. Or one of these, semi-automatic."

"Why don't airlines smarten up? They're almost always late according to their own schedules. If they can't get their on time, they should change their schedules. They could add an hour or so to all their scheduled flight times and we'd all feel good about getting there 15 minutes early instead of an hour late."

"We used to climb the mountain and pick these when I was a kid. But we didn’t call them blueberries we called them 'huckleberries.'"

Fan-tastic.

What ho! Andy Rooney is also the target of an online smear-campaign. A chain email has been circulating, purporting to contain sexist and more crotchety views expressed by Andy.

Who wants to smear Andy Rooney? My money's on THIS guy.