"Well, I mean... specifically?"

Oh, Jeebus. When Fox News starts turning against white, bigoted, middle-Americans, you KNOW something big is happening. Thanks to the Daily Show for the tip...



Now I vowed to never say this, but desperate times call for desperate measures: Fox News, I agree!!

Sinewy, Human-Shaped Agglomerations of Muscle Overtake NYC Streets!

Aaaaahhh! They're here! And they've got spandex!!!! No, this isn't some terrifying Halloween prank. It's the 50th Annual New York City Marathon! Yayayayayay!

If you've never watched it before, in person or on television, I highly recommend tuning in this Sunday, November 2nd, at 9AM. Although it might sound boring to watch people run for 2+ hours, it's actually an incredible sight. Not only are they going so fucking fast, but they're going so fucking fast for TWENTY-SIX MILES. You can check out the marathon's homepage here:

http://www.nycmarathon.org/

And, for your viewing pleasure, the final moments of the 2005 marathon, which just happened to have been the closest marathon in history. Notice how the second-place finisher collapses at the end. Ouch.

"90 days, and the marriage is over"

Props to Stephen Colbert for sharing this glorious clip with the world. Without his help (and CNN's) this gem of a story would be languishing in Tennessee's cesspool of local news. Umm.. I mean, I assume it's a cesspool. I guess I don't really know. What's a cesspool, anyway? Sounds gross though, right? Yeah, okay then. Carry on.

Uh oh. I smell another cheap cartoon crossover...

Homer Simpson, meet Don Draper:

Hehehe. Funny!

Fed cuts benchmark rate; I go, "huh?"

So everyone was expecting the Fed to cut the Fed Funds rate today, and surprise! It did, by half a percentage-point, to the bargain-basement level of one percent. I mean it's nice and all that the Dow went up a bajillion points yesterday, but I wonder if cutting interest rates is really the solution to this problem. First off, is it really going to do anything? The Fed has been lowering rates for the past 18 months and so far, nothin'. Why would it make a difference now?

Secondly, if easy credit was what contributed to the housing bubble in the first place, then isn't lowering rates back to the levels of '03 and '04 just history repeating itself? If this rate cut did actually work, which nobody really thinks it will, then wouldn't that be a bad thing?

And what's the deal with today's WSJ front-page article raising the specter of deflation? DE-flation? Weren't we talking about rapidly rising commodities and food prices like.. two weeks ago? I know oil has come down from its nausea-inducing heights, but it still costs over twice as much a barrel than it did only five short years ago. And don't even get me started on eggs.

Sometimes I think that Ben and the Maiden Lane Boys (my cute new nickname for the Fed, good right?) have just gotten lazy and are falling back on a tried and true, although unfortunately useless, tactic. Remember what happened to Japan, Ben!

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/30/business/economy/30fed.html?hp

Well, it depends on how you define "legacy"...

Today's New York Times contains an insightful piece about our legal system and its increasingly conservative character. And surprisingly, this discussion focuses not on the Supreme Court (which actually doesn't decide that many cases--who knew?) but rather on the Courts of Appeals scattered throughout the country. These judges, too, are presidential appointees and serve for LIFE. And you thought Bush's "legacy" was the Iraq war! Ha! Wrong again, sucka!

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/29/us/29judges.html?hp

Triumph on the Weather

A friend sent me this link today.. it's a little outdated but still hilarious. Also, it got me thinking: what has Triumph the Insult Comic Dog been up to lately? I have neither seen nor heard from him in months. Is he even on Conan anymore?? Maybe, but I don't remember the last weeknight I stayed up past 11PM so how would I know. Anyway, without further ado... Triumph Does the Weather:

Triumph Weather Dog - These bloopers are hilarious

Introducing... Barack O' Lantern

FYI, this was surprisingly easy to do. All you need is two hours, a pumpkin, and a six-pack of beer (optional). Special thanks to YesWeCarve.com for the stencil.

Extra! Extra! Bush endorses McCain!

You should def watch this clip of George Bush (Will Ferrell) endorsing John McCain (Darrell Hammond) and Sarah Palin (Tina Fey) on Saturday Night Live. It sorta, you know, makes comedy history. Or whatever.

The markets are falling! The markets are falling!

From CNNMoney:

Markets were so jittery early Friday that the New York Stock Exchange felt it was necessary to post a statement on its blog confirming that trading would open as normal at 9:30 a.m. ET, saying it felt it was necessary to answer widespread rumors that the open would be delayed.
The NYSE also posted updated details of so-called circuit breakers, which would halt trading for certain periods of time if the Dow Jones industrial average falls 1,100 points during the trading day. It said it was posting that information with "the fervent hope we won't need them."

Now wait just a minute. This is crazy! The New York Stock Exchange has a BLOG?!?!

http://money.cnn.com/2008/10/24/markets/stockswatch/index.htm?postversion=2008102406&eref=rss_topstories

Credit analysts are assholes (but you knew that already)

Check out this article from Bloomberg, describing the soulless employees of Moody's and S&P:

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=ac8Bkp_7F4Rc&refer=home

Some choice quotes:

Employees at Moody's Investors Service told executives that issuing dubious creditworthy ratings to mortgage-backed securities made it appear they were incompetent or "sold our soul to the devil for revenue,'' according to e-mails obtained by U.S. House investigators.

An e-mail that a S&P employee wrote to a co-worker in 2006, obtained by committee investigators, said, "Let's hope we are all wealthy and retired by the time this house of cards falters.''

A partner at my firm tipped me off, adding that before hitting "send" on an email, one should always ask oneself, "how would this sound in a deposition?" Voicemails, he says, are much harder to track down.

OMGGGGGG

OMG you guys totally have to check out this link. I can't believe I missed this--it's at the park right next to my house! Grrr, I'll never forgive myself.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/istolethetv/sets/72157608198512965/show/

But you can bet I'll be there next year!

They're obviously pandering to the "Curcibita" lobby...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/23/political.halloween.irpt/index.html?iref=mpstoryview#cnnSTCPhoto

Numbers 2 & 3 are pretty cool; that shit's hard to do. But, #9... "Obampkin"? That's the best you could come up with, Tyler Martin? Lame. Personally, I prefer "Barack-O-Lantern". (We're carving him this weekend... I'll post pics when he's done).

UPDATE: http://www.yeswecarve.com -- Daily Intel, you've gone done and beat me to it again! (You bastards.)

Alan Greenspan: "What I Have Learned"

http://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/10/23/business/1194827509979/greenspan-discusses-credit-tsunami.html

Your assignment: compare and contrast this speech with Greenspan's address to the Futures Industry Association in '99 (http://www.federalreserve.gov/boarddocs/speeches/1999/19990319.htm), in which he calls for, "a less burdensome regime for exchange-traded financial derivatives." 5000 word minimum. Go!

Midget Politics

"Politics makes strange bedfellows," so the saying goes. Witness this YouTube video as evidence.



(Okay, yes I realize this was posted on Friday by the Second-Best Blog Ever, Daily Intel, but in-case-you-missed-it...)

Andy Rooney Is Old (And Doesn't Get Stuff)

Sometimes I watch 60 Minutes, and I catch Andy Rooney's editorial at the end. Andy Rooney is a crotchety old man. Though I suppose he fancies himself a social satirist, I don't think he actually understands the society he comments on. And even when he does, he otherwise makes extremely boring observations.

On the other hand, I find his continued employment fascinating. Maybe one of these days he'll do a piece on his own irrelevance and incoherence.

Here's some of Andy's cutting commentary:

"Recently, Merrill Lynch agreed to sell itself to Bank of America for $50 billion. What's that all about? Sell itself? Who gets the $50 billion?"

"In the past few years, I've bought three can openers and none of them work. Look at this. I always end up going back to the old manual opener. Or one of these, semi-automatic."

"Why don't airlines smarten up? They're almost always late according to their own schedules. If they can't get their on time, they should change their schedules. They could add an hour or so to all their scheduled flight times and we'd all feel good about getting there 15 minutes early instead of an hour late."

"We used to climb the mountain and pick these when I was a kid. But we didn’t call them blueberries we called them 'huckleberries.'"

Fan-tastic.

What ho! Andy Rooney is also the target of an online smear-campaign. A chain email has been circulating, purporting to contain sexist and more crotchety views expressed by Andy.

Who wants to smear Andy Rooney? My money's on THIS guy.

Sit-down Smack-down

Reactions to the final presidential debate?  My opinion: waaaay more interesting than all those that preceded it.  I didn't fall asleep once!